Q&A: Lexi Jayde is the Big Sister You've Always Needed—On Heartbreak and Her New Album

MusicQ&A

Aug 26

INTERVIEW

DATING IN YOUR TWENTIES — Having a tumultuous relationship between your heart and your brain is something that every woman can relate to.

The usual suspect: a man. The outcome: typically heartbreak. The solution: ice cream, rom-coms and tough love from your closest girlfriends. But for 24-year-old singer-songwriter Lexi Jayde, the solution was also a diary's worth of songs, shared with the world. Despite the last four years being a rollercoaster of emotions that left her, like many, questioning her worth and ability to be loved, Jayde came through stronger. Now, she's sharing her experience with the world, hoping to help women just like her learn to love themselves again.

LOVER GIRL, Jayde's debut album released on August 21, exists inside a parallel universe where loving deeply isn't a liability but a deliberate way of being. Inspired by her favorite rom-com movies, Jayde walks us through every course of heartache: from delusion to self-sabotage to acceptance and finally, growth. She invites everyone who wears their heart on their sleeve to join her on this journey, building a world that appreciates sentimentalism and intertwines all of the aspects of love she hopes for herself.

“Since I was a little girl, I’ve never known how to love halfway or care just a little bit—whether it’s relationships, friendships or dreams, I throw my whole heart into things,” said Jayde. “Sometimes that’s my greatest strength and sometimes it’s the reason I get hurt, and this album reflects both sides of that experience. In the end I don’t think being a lover girl is just about romance; it’s a way of moving through the world. And if there’s one thing I want people to take away from this album, it’s that feeling deeply isn’t a weakness—it’s a gift.”

Read below to learn more about the dating experiences that shaped LOVER GIRL, Jayde’s favorite songs on the album and her recipe for dealing with heartbreak.

LUNA: You've called LOVER GIRL the record that means the absolute most to you. When you sit with the finished album now, does it feel like the version of it you set out to make back when "I've Missed You Longer" was just a demo?

JAYDE: It totally exceeded my expectations, and it honestly made me fall more in love with the process and the entire project as a whole. I'll never forget when all the songs got mastered and finished—listening back, start to finish, was such an emotional, surreal moment for me. Especially having had this album for so long and sitting on some of these songs for quite some time, to finally have the finished product was just an incredible feeling, and I've never been more proud of anything in my life.

LUNA: The world you've built around this era—the visuals, the rom-com sensibility—is obviously very intentional. Was there a specific image or scene you kept chasing, or an idea you were envisioning while making it?

JAYDE: I think the way I wrote this album is very untraditional. I've been writing it for the past four years, but I've always had a very strong vision for my music. When I'm writing, I'm writing with the visual in the back of my head. I'm obsessed with anything creative. To me, that's one of the most fun parts about making music: diving deep into world-building. When we landed on the title and chose the songs, I just knew, this is me.

Those rom-com '90s moments played such a big part in my life and my childhood, and they made me who I am today. I knew the creative direction had to be based around so many of my favorite movies and shows — there's a lot of Sex and the City in there. When I posted the trailer, so many of my friends messaged me saying they thought they were watching a movie trailer. I was like, thank god, because that's the whole goal. I want people, when they're listening to the album, to walk down the street with their headphones on and feel like they're walking through their own movie. That's honestly what I do in my day-to-day life.

LUNA: What's your favorite rom-com?

JAYDE: I'd say How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days—one of my favorite movies of all time. The Holiday is my favorite movie ever, and I'm also obsessed with Notting Hill. I could go on and on; I think every single one brings something specific to relate to or gravitate toward. If you're a rom-com girly, you're really going to love this album.

LUNA: You've said this album tracks you finding your confidence again. From my experience, growing up in Los Angeles, and especially in the spotlight, can definitely shape those kinds of dating experiences. If you're comfortable sharing, what did that season actually look like for you before you were able to put it into words?

JAYDE: Totally. I mean, you're basically listening to me lose my confidence in real time. It's very clear that I was putting a lot of other people's needs before mine, and I had a crazy four years. I grew up really, really fast. Like you said, living in LA is complicated, and I think growing up here caused me to become an adult at a really young age. I've always been someone who feels things very deeply. I'm a very emotional person, which is probably why I write music.

The dating world in LA specifically is brutal, and honestly, dating in general is brutal right now. Going back to the whole rom-com thing, I grew up watching people open doors, bring flowers—all these romantic gestures that seem to be dead now. I'm the type of girl who had to learn to just walk up to a guy I thought was cute, because nobody actually wants to talk to each other in person anymore. Nobody dances anymore. Navigating that in LA was really difficult, especially over the past four years. I was definitely lost when it came to love. I was dealing with the wrong people and it took a toll on my mental state. When you give someone your all and they still don't choose you at the end of the day, it makes you feel like less than, and you start to question your worth—whether you're even worthy of being loved by somebody.

I feel really lucky that I've found such incredible people in my life, especially growing up in LA at a young age. I've had the same friends since middle school, and they've kept me grounded. I feel lucky to have such good female friendships around me—my girls are everything. LOVER GIRL is definitely for the girls.

LUNA: Does this concept of "love" mean something different to you now than it did when this journey started four years ago?

JAYDE: If anything, I feel even deeper about love, friendships and family now. Going through a lot of really shitty situations and coming out of it stronger has made me appreciate being in love with somebody and feeling seen. The past four years, I was really depressed and going through a lot. The girl I was four years ago is obviously not the girl I am now. She thought she'd never fall in love again and was so hard on herself—I still am, but not as much. I lacked a lot of confidence and put other people's needs before my own. I had to grow a lot of nerve and stand up for myself in a lot of areas of my life—not just love, but my career, my friendships and myself. I have a different perspective on all of it now because I went through those tough times.

I have a boyfriend now, and I'm very much in love, but when I look back at all the guys I used to talk to, I'm like, damn, I let those men treat me like that. I would never in a million years let anybody treat me that way now. There was a time I let a lot of people knock me down, and I can't imagine ever letting anybody make me feel like that again. I'm really grateful for all those moments, though, because now I've finally found pure happiness within myself.

LUNA: For readers who might be navigating something similar and working on respecting themselves, what advice would you offer? How did you personally learn to feel more empowered?

JAYDE: I'd tell anybody going through heartbreak that it feels like you'll never be able to love again. Being young and in love is so complicated, especially when you're with the wrong person. You end up spiraling, overthinking everything in your life, truly believing that if this person doesn't want you, then you're not good enough. I talk a lot about that on the album, but you will find somebody who loves you deeply and wants you with every bone in their body. Life is short, and we're all incredible in our own ways. It's crazy that we even let these men walk all over us and make us feel like less, but I've been through it. Just know you are good enough, and you are going to find somebody who loves you. You only live once. Why would you want to be with somebody who doesn't love every piece of you, who doesn't give you the world and see you as the shining star princess you are? If you want that fairy-tale love, you will find it.

LUNA: Bring back yearning seriously. Yearning is not dead.

JAYDE: Yearning is NOT dead. LOVER GIRL is bringing it back.

LUNA: You heard it here. "Delusional" as a track theme is such a specific, self-aware way to talk about being in love. Is there a real memory that helped shape that song?

JAYDE: I was talking to a guy I wrote a lot of this project about, and it was obviously clear that he didn't want me. Every sign pointed to this man not being right for me, but he had such a hold on me, and I really thought he was the one. I spent hours and hours with all my girlfriends talking about the same five-second interaction over and over again, being completely delusional about it. Some time had passed since we'd been together, and I saw him out with another girl and thought, that's totally fine, he still wants me—and then it hit me, in this random moment: girl, he doesn't want you. He's just not that into you.

It's a hard pill to swallow. I think I was protecting myself from going through another terrible heartbreak. In this situationship, I kept pretending; over-romanticizing the small, good moments, because it was so much easier to hold on to that than to look back at the situation as a whole. He was telling me all these things, like I was the love of his life. Of course you hold on to that when the person you think you love is saying it to your face, even when their actions say something completely different. I remember walking into the studio and thinking, I need to write a song about this, and it needs to be called "Delusional." I'm ready to admit it, and I wanted to be cheeky and fun about it, because I think so many other people go through this same thing.

I love some of the lyrics: "I'm gonna have his babies, he could call me crazy," "I'm gonna marry this guy even though we've never been on a real date," "All my friends, they're calling me crazy, but who cares? They don't know him the way I know him." But really, your friends are right. Your girls are telling you the truth, and sometimes you've got to swallow that pill. This song was the start of me doing that; at least accepting it out loud.

LUNA: For those who just want to feel their feelings, what would you say is your recipe for heartbreak?

JAYDE: Spend the first two weeks really feeling it. Holding it in is one of the worst things you can do. It's literally toxic to keep that in your body. Cry your eyes out. Watch every rom-com you can with your girlfriends. Eat ice cream. Do all the things that make you feel good. Then, after you've had that time to really sob it out, and you'll probably sob a bunch more times after that, find something you've never done before that brings you joy.

It can be something small. For me, it was going on a walk every morning and listening to Frank Sinatra; it became something I couldn't get through my day without. Or getting a weekly massage with my girlfriends, or going out on the town. Did I still get in the Uber after a night out and cry my eyes out because I kissed a guy before I was ready? Of course. But it's better to keep moving forward and feel things in real time.

Heartbreak is almost like a fresh start, in a way. It's this beautiful moment where you get to think, okay, the world is my oyster. Don't let the noise get to you, and try not to self-sabotage, because that's something I did a lot after my last breakup. I actually have a song called "Self Sabotage" about it. Try not to read through old texts, stalk, or do any of the things that just make you sad.

LUNA: When you look at the girl who released music at 17 versus the woman who made this album, what do you think she'd be most surprised by?

JAYDE: Oh my god, she'd be surprised by pretty much everything. More than anything, she'd be really, really proud. She'd be like, wow, you did it. You wore your heart on your sleeve, you continued to be yourself through all of it and you stood up for yourself in moments where not everybody could. I think I'd just give my 17-year-old self the biggest hug. Life is going to throw you some crazy curveballs, but you're strong enough. It's crazy to look back at that time.

LUNA: That's honestly all you can ask for—to be proud of yourself.

JAYDE: You're so right. I couldn't be happier that that's how I feel about it.

LUNA: Is there something you're most looking forward to at this point in your life, either in music or in general? What's been exciting you the most?

JAYDE: Right now, obviously, it's getting this album out. Nobody could have prepared me for not being able to do the one thing I love most, which is make music. The fact that I'm back, feeling like myself again and doing what I love, especially looking forward to touring and singing these lyrics I've had for so long with people, in real time. I'm really looking forward to all of those special moments.

LUNA: I was someone who was also obsessed with "Drunk Text Me." It was on repeat.

JAYDE: It's so funny, because everybody who says that tells me one of two things: either it's the song that got them through the hardest time of their life, or they say it's the craziest song ever. I don't think the almost-twenty-four version of myself could have written it, though. Only my 19-year-old self, who was extremely heartbroken for the first time, could have written that. I'm just so happy I turned that terrible time in my life into something that ended up helping so many people.

LUNA: If a fan comes up to you after a show next year and says LOVER GIRL got them through something, what do you hope that something is?

JAYDE: I really just hope people feel less alone when they listen to this project. The feelings and emotions I talk about are very universal, and I think there's a song for everybody on LOVER GIRL. If somebody came up to me and said that, it would mean everything, because that's the hope, really—that I can help people feel seen through my music. There's a deeper reason I go through all these crazy things and have the ability to express those emotions, because a lot of people can't express how they feel, or don't even know what they're feeling. I've had people on tour tell me I've saved their life, and I'm like, that's such a deep thing to say, but the fact that I could be that person for somebody is truly incredible. I feel really, really grateful. I can't wait to keep making people feel inspired, to be like a best friend or an older sister to them in a way.

The fans are like my second family. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. I hadn't released music in a very long time, and so many incredible people have stuck by my side and believed in me through all of it. Even with these singles and this album, everyone has been so supportive.

LUNA: Do you have a favorite track on the album?

JAYDE: I chose all my favorite songs from the past four years, so honestly, they're all my favorites. Right now, I'm really into either "Misunderstood" or "Bubble Bath." I'd say "Bubble Bath" especially, because it's at the heart of the album. It really explains the past four years of my life in one song. It's deep and painful in a good way; I'm just obsessed with it. "Misunderstood" is one of my favorite songs I've ever written, and I'm excited for people to hear it, especially the bridge. And honestly, "You're Still Mine," the first single, is so special to me too. I wrote that song in my bedroom, and it's one of my favorites on the project.