Spotlight: Field Medic Cuts His Hair Short And Releases Emotionally Charged Album 'grow your hair long if you’re wanting to see something that you can change'
FACED WITH A CHALLENGING PERIOD FOR HIS MENTAL HEALTH - Kevin Patrick Sullivan, the moniker of Field Medic, created his art – that being his latest album titled, grow your hair long if you’re wanting to see something you can change. Sullivan’s album includes nine tracks of folk-indie music that candidly highlight Sullivan’s struggles. “When I made most of them [the songs], I was really confused and almost like in a constant state of disassociation, I felt like I'd had a lobotomy,” Sullivan shared of the experience that inspired the vulnerability in his fifth full-length album release.
But this isn’t the first album that the California-based artist has openly expressed his struggles in. Highly acclaimed albums like Floral Prince and fade into the dawn shared these similar themes. In fact, his most streamed song is titled “song i made up to stop myself from having a panic attack.” Sullivans brazen vulnerability has connected him to nearly 500,000 Spotify listeners who turn to his music for the extraordinary way in which Sullivan shares his most painful thoughts and experiences. From thoughts on suicide and depression to love, Sullivan manages to connect an audience through their shared experiences of pain in a non-exhaustive manner. His folk album combines acoustic tones and translates stigmatized thoughts into beautiful music that makes you feel understood and calm. Something that Sullivans calls “depresso Americana” or “emo music”.
“I'm glad to say that I feel like my frontal cortex has been rebuilt,” Sullivan shared of his individual growth post-album creation, and ahead of his headlining fall tour through the US and Canada. Much like his journey with mental health Sullivan’s life is a story of resilience. Beginning his career in metalcore bands as a vocalist, playing in a band with his brother called Rin Tin Tiger, and then busking in the streets alone has made Sullivan the indie-folk sensation he is today. Towards the end of Rin Tin Tiger was when Sullivan began the Field Medic project, following his obsession with stars like Bob Dylan, Joni Mitchell, Townes Van Zandt, and John Prine. “I just kind of started exploring the Field Medic project as a way to make whatever song I wanted to.”
While Sullivan’s latest album continues similar themes from his past work there is one major way in which grow your hair long if you’re wanting to see something you can change, is different from his former albums – that change is the way Sullivan produced the album. For the first time Sullivan didn’t work alone, he was joined by producer Gabe Goodman. Goodman was the first person Sullivan has recorded with for the Field Medic Project. Sullivan had always been inclined to work alone, for him it was a calmer experience. But with grow your hair long if you’re wanting to see something you can change Sullivan’s only thought was that he wanted it to be different from his previous lo-fi work. “I wanted to push myself to go outside my comfort zone of that blueprint and just try something a little bit more dynamic, a little bit more silky, however you want to describe it. Just more HD. Next Gen,” and Goodman was the way to get him there.
While Sullivan got help on recording, songwriting is where Sullivan shines brightest alone. The second album on the track, “weekends” was written in 2019, followed by the rest of the album which was written in the middle of 2021. “Which is weird, because it feels like it took so long to get to the point where it's almost coming out. It's weird to think that it was only just being written a year ago,” Sullivan shared. “I'm grateful that I was able to process those feelings through those songs, and then also now being able to look back and being like, I'm glad that those feelings are over to some degree.”
But one of the songs that carries a fond memory of working on the album was “noonday sun”. Written in October of last year, Sullivan’s roommates and girlfriend went to Big Bear for a week. They had limited reception and it was snowy outside. “I remember on the third day that we were there, I wrote that song “noonday sun” just sitting on the porch. And it reminded me of when I lived in San Francisco. I used to have a wooden deck in my backyard and I would just wake up and write songs out there every morning. And writing “noonday sun” on that wooden deck at Big Bear felt really reminiscent of that to me. And it was cool to have a song just appear out of nowhere because I didn't go there to write music,” Sullivan shared.
A lot of what Sullivan experienced during 2021 is what inspired this album. One of those things being his hair. Visibly shorter than Sullivan’s Spotify promotional photos, Sullivan appeared rested during the Zoom interview as he explained the inspiration behind his album title. After feeling desperately lost as things out of his control transpired Sullivan decided to grow his hair out, and not cut it himself every month like he had done in the past. This began to resemble a symbol to Sullivan. “I can't change the course of events. I don't have a time machine. But something that I can visually watch change is my hair getting long. And I allowed that to help me create a new identity within this new reality I was living in. Sort of like a way to let go of the past, like some sort of mourning exercise or something because the idea was also that once I felt like I was maybe better than I would cut it all off, which I just did like a week and a half ago. So it was sort of like a marker for me, a marker of progress.”
And just like his hair was a form of therapy or holistic medicine so was working on this album. “It's in the moment, it's what I do when I'm overwhelmed. Because I have a tendency to sometimes have anxiety attacks. And when I'm super in that mode, it's always helpful for me to pick up a guitar and just start strumming and like making shit up. And that's kind of how a lot of the songs from this album were made.” “always emptiness” was an example of this. His lyric: I want to fall of the face of the earth and probably die was genuinely how Sullivan felt for a moment. “I had to acknowledge that it was sort of funny, because it's just so absurd. And it made me feel better to say it. So then I just picked up the guitar and just started singing that over and over and over again. And then just kind of filled in the lines with other lyrics.”
But now that his album is done Sullivan has a few other things up his sleeve for the rest of this year. First, Sullivan has a tour till November. After which he is working on finishing a new wave album, “I feel like I'm addicted to releasing tracks,” he shared with a laugh. “But I also have to record an album called Dope Girl Chronicles that I prophesied in a song that I released in 2016 as coming out in 2023. So I have to complete the prophecy, so I guess in December I'm going to be attempting to fulfill the prophecy, as epic as that sounds. And then also, I like to play one video game that I love and that's Resident Evil 4. And I've been planning all year that when I'm done with my tour and when the album's out, to beat Resident Evil 4 again. So beat Resident Evil 4 again, fulfill the prophecy, and I guess, no I don't even I guess, those two things sound like a lot. So I think I'll just stick to those for now.”
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