Q&A: Friendship Breakups Hurt the Most, and min.a Captures That Pain on “bite”
INTERVIEW
INTERVIEW
☆ BY SHEVON GREENE ☆
FRIENDSHIP BREAKUPS DON’T ALWAYS GET THE SAME ATTENTION — as romantic heartbreak, but for rising alt-pop artist min.a, they’ve been some of the most defining moments of her life. Her new single, “bite,” out October 3, describes the devastation of losing someone you thought would always be in your corner and turns that grief into something raw and cathartic yet relatable. Built from guitar-driven indie rock textures and pop songwriting, the track moves from intimate verses into a spiraling climax, emphasizing the way emotions can boil over when trust is broken.
Written in the aftermath of a gut-wrenching conversation with a longtime friend, “bite” finds min.a asking the question at the heart of the track: How do you say something like that to someone else? It’s a reflection of hurt but also a declaration of self-worth, a kind of songwriting that turns personal pain into a collective resonance.
We chatted with min.a about channeling heartbreak into music, healing through “bite,” and the rock-leaning direction she’s eager to explore next. Read on for more.
LUNA: The song “bite” was born out of a friendship breakup. The lyrics ask, How do you say something like that to someone else? What was that moment like emotionally, when you realized those lines were being crossed?
MIN.A: I’d been friends with this person for three years. I was a bridesmaid in her wedding; I really thought we’d be friends for life. But I kept hearing, “I’m sorry I’m being such a sh*tty friend,” and people around me were saying, “She’s not there for you when it counts.” Over time I realized that was true. I felt like I was there for her convenience. She never came to my place, I was always going to hers, and when it mattered, she wasn’t there. The tipping point was when I asked if she was coming to a show of mine. I asked, “Are you coming tonight?” and she said, “What’s tonight?” That was messed up. When I confronted her, I said, “I don’t feel like you value this friendship the way I do.” And she said, “You’re right. I don’t. You’re asking for more than I can give.” In my opinion, I was asking for the bare minimum. She even brought up that some of her friends thought I was annoying. It was heartbreaking because I truly thought she’d be in my life forever. The chorus—how do you say something like that to someone else—was literally my reaction.
LUNA: That’s definitely relatable, having friendships where you put in all the effort but the other doesn’t. It sucks, but at least something good came from it—you got a song that people can relate to.
MIN.A: Thank you. It just felt unfair, you know?
LUNA: Absolutely. The imagery in the lyrics feels raw and personal. How much was literal, and how much was symbolic?
MIN.A: Some is straight from life. Like, forgot the keys, got locked out for 45 minutes; that really happened with her husband. She defended him constantly, but when it came to me, she’d barely defend me once and act like that was enough. That was a wake-up call. The chorus is literal, asking how someone can say those things. The line the next time you fall apart, don’t wait for me is symbolic. I was always there for her, even when I was sick, but she couldn’t notice small things about me, like a haircut or things I’ve owned for years. That line was me saying, “I’m not your crutch anymore.”
LUNA: What was the process like translating such a painful conversation into a song? Did you write it quickly, or carry it for a while?
MIN.A: Right after the conversation, I started spilling my guts into the Notes app. I cried with my boyfriend; he knows her and everything I’d been through, so he supported me. A week later, I had a session with TK the Architect. I told him I wanted something guitar-heavy, kind of rock but still indie pop. He came up with the chords, and when I went home to track vocals, the song came quickly. I had all these thoughts that needed a place to go, so it felt like the song wrote itself. It was so personal I didn’t want anyone else touching it lyrically or vocally. Every time I perform it, it’s emotional—like the hardest friendship breakup I’ve had. It almost felt like a romantic breakup.
LUNA: Definitely. That rawness is where some of the best music comes from. So how did you decide on the instrumentation and tone, making it both intimate and powerful?
MIN.A: I was listening to a lot of Rachel Chinouriri. I love how her music balances acoustic and rock. I wanted that slow build, like a pot boiling over, so by the end it’s this spiral moment with heavy guitars, drums, feedback. It just felt right; indie rock with pop songwriting, which I love.
LUNA: That’s such a beautiful combination—heavy rock instrumentation with vulnerable lyrics. Did visuals play a role in writing, or did they come after?
MIN.A: I don’t usually think visually when writing. Afterward, I thought of cover art; moody, outdoors, nothing too staged. Just me and a friend with a film camera. We went to Prospect Park. As for a video, I don’t have plans right now. The song might not need one.
LUNA: Totally. Sometimes the music speaks for itself, especially when it’s so personal. So how does “bite” fit into what you want people to understand about you compared to your past songs?
MIN.A: I want it to show that all my songs are from real experiences. I don’t need people to have gone through exactly what I did, but I hope it brings comfort, like oh, I’m not alone. I also want to move more into rock. I think pop songwriting with the grit of rock is a beautiful combo, and “bite” feels like an intro to that.
LUNA: Friendship heartbreak doesn’t always get as much space in music as romantic heartbreak. Why did you want to write about that kind of hurt?
MIN.A: I’ve never gone through a romantic breakup; my current boyfriend is my first, and we’ve been together for six years. So the heartbreaks I know are friendship ones. And honestly, sometimes they’re harder. You might be friends with someone across multiple life phases, and losing that can be more painful than romance. I appreciate lyricism that explores those kinds of relationships.
LUNA: We need more of that in music. As you prepare more releases, does “bite” feel like a turning point, or more like closure?
MIN.A: More closure. I don’t have a project planned yet, but I needed this song out. I’m still healing from it. I think it sets up the indie rock direction I want to explore in the future, though.
LUNA: Regardless, I’m sure listeners will be excited for what’s next. What do you hope people take away when they hear “bite,” especially if they’ve had similar experiences?
MIN.A: I hope they feel validated. Friendship breakups can hurt even more than romantic ones, especially when you thought it would last forever or that person shaped who you are. Friendships are so important to growth, support, and perspective. I want listeners to know it’s okay if they’re still healing.
