Q&A: Catie Turner is Speaking from the Heart, Even When it Hurts in New Single, “Hurt You Now”
INTERVIEW
INTERVIEW
☆ BY KELSEY PECCHIA ☆
CATIE TURNER WANTS YOU TO KNOW THAT SOMETIMES, THE PAIN IS WORTH IT – The singer-songwriter embraces doing the hard stuff in her new single, “Hurt You Now.” The first ballad of Turner’s depicts the emotional reality of needing to let go of someone for both of your sakes, even when the other person can’t quite see it yet. Learned from experience, Turner tells us what we may not want to hear, but what we need to know.
For Turner, music has always been an anchor. Earning a spot on American Idol at only 17 years old, she has always found that music is more than an art, more than a passion, but a tool to guide her and help her better understand herself. With a new, unfiltered level of honesty, Turner encourages us to stop shrinking ourselves to fit our surroundings, but to listen to that thing inside that makes us nauseous, that reminds us we are deserving of more.
In a heartfelt series of new releases, including “Shrinking Violet,” “Grow Out of You,” and, of course, “Hurt You Now,” Turner seeks to understand herself in this transformative period of her life. Navigating your twenties can be emotional, adventurous, painful, overwhelming, and everything in between. Turner takes us through her experience, learning that sometimes growing and evolving means outgrowing those around you. To Turner, this is one of life’s most painful gifts; to grow so much, oftentimes because of those around us, that in order to keep doing so and help the other person do so, we must say goodbye.
Turner is unapologetically herself on her new single, “Hurt You Now,” and she has music to thank. “It’s why I've survived my twenties in any meaningful way,” and Turner is giving us all her tips and tricks, including some of the hardest lessons she’s had to learn.
LUNA: Thank you so much for chatting with Luna today. For some of our readers who might be new fans, do you want them to know anything particular about yourself and your music?
TURNER: I'd like them to know that my name is Catie, and I am an Aquarius. Then, I would say, that I love to give the vibe that maybe I'm a girl you would see on the bus that would sit with you when you have to walk the mile, who also is a part-time pop star… and that they're probably gonna be sad. That's what I would say, in a nutshell.
LUNA: You've been releasing a lot of new music over the past few months, the most recent being your new single, “Hurt You Now.” When writing that song, what was your biggest inspiration?
TURNER: Well, it's a shock, but one time, very long ago [laughs]… I'm kidding, but I was broken up with and I hated it. I hated them so bad because why would you willingly put me through heartbreak? But then, through learning the lesson, I realised they had to break up with me because if they didn't, all this stuff wouldn't have happened, and I'm way better. Like, thank god. Then you have to do that lesson to somebody else, and it really sucks. You're like, they're probably gonna hate me so bad, and you just have to hope that in a year, or maybe five years, they're going to see that I didn't mean it any type of way, and that they were better for it. That was the inspiration going into writing that song that day, just struggling with the fact that I was in a weird friendship situation.
LUNA: You can totally feel that in the song. How did that perspective of understanding both sides influence that experience, and what did you take away from it?
TURNER: I mean, it just sucked. I think that's like with everything in life, when you know something, it's still gonna suck. It was nauseating, but it did give me the hope that it isn’t the end and that there is a path forward. That was a nice perspective to have – that you're not putting the nail in the coffin, it's just simply not your time right now. So a little optimism for the group [laughs].
LUNA: “Hurt You Now” is more of a ballad compared to your other songs and some more recent singles. Was that something that you knew going in you wanted to lean more into, or did it just come into its own?
TURNER: I definitely wanted to lean into the ballad. I am from the era of “Skinny Love” by Birdie and just the most gut-wrenching piano ballads, leaning against a window in the car, and I'm like, we have to channel that, because that is this song to a T. You want to run your hand down the window and be melancholic, so definitely had to lean into it and give it all the melodrama.
LUNA: I love that. I've heard you describe a lot of your music as the Tumblr aesthetic, and I think that's so fitting for that picture you paint.
TURNER: Tumblr is like THE one. Everything, maybe has a touch of it, but this was like, I would want this on 8tracks, I would want this with a rain audio in the background. Like this is c*nt.
LUNA: What did you learn about yourself, musically or otherwise, while thinking about this project, writing it, and recording it?
TURNER: Well, I didn't know I could even use a piano. For some reason, I've always been so against doing a ballad, because to do a ballad, you have to lean in, like you cannot half-ass a ballad. So I learned that one, I can do that, and the world didn't end. So that was really nice, because I thought that if maybe I touched another instrument other than guitar, I would set on fire and be struck down. But it worked, and I had a lot of fun. Also, I learned through these past songs that I can start being honest without worrying about who's gonna listen to it. More than the listeners listening to it, I am way more concerned with my mother listening to it, or is the friend going to listen to it, and all these people. It took a lot of the joy out of making music when you feel like you're making the Mean Girls “Burn Book” every time you write a song. So, I've just started leaning in and being like, you know what, it is my therapy. So I'm gonna say the sh*t, and I'm gonna do it to piano, and now we're here.
LUNA: Your last few releases, “Shrinking Violet,” “Grow Out of You,” and of course, “Hurt You Now” come from a strong place of emotional understanding, acceptance, and maturity. What drove you to that place when writing? Was it that want to be as open and honest as possible?
TURNER: I like working through problems very analytically. As much of a feeler as I am, [my feelings] are sometimes too big for me to understand, so I really have to see things and work through them and go through both sides. That's really all I've been writing. Just writing how I feel, and then beating the sh*t out of it, maybe until coins pop out or until the solution is clear, to just better understand what that knot in my stomach is, and to give it a name. That's really the place I've been writing from. Just trying to identify why I am nauseous [laughs].
LUNA: So you would say, then, that writing is more of a therapy, if anything else?
TURNER: It is very therapeutic in the way that pilates is also therapeutic. It will make you so miserable, and it will hurt, but then afterwards, you're like, I am better for doing that. That is music for me. It is the one thing that has made me better understand my psyche than anything.
LUNA: I love that. These recent releases evoke an emotional confidence that is almost contagious. How has writing and making music helped you navigate this transformative chapter that you're walking into now?
TURNER: It's just everything. Music really does give me my purpose and my reason for waking up in the morning. If I didn't have music, I would just be your unemployed friend. You know how they have those side quests, like “Your unemployed friend at 3PM on a Tuesday,” like, at least they're doing side plots. I would just lie in bed and not be able to move. It is everything to me. It's why I've survived my twenties in any meaningful way. The music is why I even still do music with all the hullabaloo and all the analytics and all the unfun stuff. If I didn't love music, I would have run way long ago. It's what keeps me tied to everything. It's my tether.
LUNA: Some of our readers may not know that you took off on American Idol when you were 17 years old. Moving through this transformative chapter, how do you feel different or similar to that girl that you were then, and what advice would you give to her now?
TURNER: Well, you know what's bullsh*t, is you have to go through your twenties to realise that the girl you were at 17 knew way more than you do now, and so you should trust her more. So I would say to her, just listen to yourself, you are doing everything right. A lot of my therapy sessions and my whole journey has been returning to who I was back then, because I lost her, but she had it, she knew what she was doing. So I would just say, ignore everybody and keep the go-go boots. Don't let them take away the Amazon go-go boots, girl, like you got it. At 17, you're like, I'm gonna be like Carrie Bradshaw, I’ll change. Then you're like, wow, actually, that is the most you you'll ever be.
LUNA: What do you hope fans take away from “Hurt You Now” and your other recent releases?
TURNER: Selfishly, do I hope that I can be the soundtrack to some really hard situation they're going through? Yes, because then I did my job perfectly of tapping into that emotion. But, in a very serious, earnest way, I hope that they realise that they're seen, and that you are not the only person in the world who has to go through doing a really sh*tty thing. This is just a part of life, and so let's write a song about it, and let's talk about all the sh*t we don't want to do, because nobody tells us this in life, and I hope they feel supported through their discomfort.
LUNA: What can fans look forward to this year? Is there anything special coming up for you that you want to share with Luna?
TURNER: Well, just more music. More music and more self-discovery, and what else can I write while I go through all the magic of accessing my now… am I in my mid twenties? Oh, god, you know, I've made the soundtrack to my young twenties. What sh*t am I gonna write about in my mid-twenties before my Saturn Return? Maybe this could be the last time in my twenties that I am happy [laughs]. So expect some upbeat songs and some sanity for the first time. I can say that, wow, I don't know if it's the SSRIs or the frontal lobe, but baby, I got sanity now, so they can expect just a lot of everything.
