Q&A: NERIAH’S ‘Reason To Hate You’ Is A Remarkable Feat of Self-Reflection in the Face of Endings
INTERVIEW
INTERVIEW
☆ BY IVONA HOMICIANU ☆
Photo by Maxine Bowen
NERIAH SEES THE ENDING AS A BEGINNING - The Los Angeles-based artist leads with openness and vulnerability when it comes to her music. Through songwriting, NERIAH unfurls the chaos and confusion that occurs with relationships coming to term. She redefines closure as the relationship one has to themselves. After getting lost in another person, self-reflection is necessary to move on – and NERIAH shows she has done the work.
In her latest project Reason To Hate You, she shifts the mindset of a break-up. Instead of asking questions concerning her self-worth, she recognises that the connection wasn’t one that was meant to be. What makes this project particular when it comes to heartbreak is the deeper side of accepting this ending. NERIAH’s maturity stands out, while still staying true to herself.
“This project isn’t about the breakup, it's about the pieces it left behind. It’s the hard part: looking in the mirror and realizing how much of yourself you lost trying to keep someone else.”
The project starts with “Spring Cleaning,” which sets the tone and perfectly encapsulates what’s to come. The upbeat introduction continues with “Rocket Science,” a powerful ballad that reveals a side of NERIAH we haven’t seen before. She rewinds the tape to when she was younger, unveiling a question that we often ask ourselves after having been through family trauma. “Illiterate” makes peace with being wrong about a person. What is truly interesting is the switch from coming to terms with that realization, to still questioning why there is a pattern of endings in the track “Good Enough.”
It’s what makes the depth of Reason To Hate You – the EP shows a hindsight and awareness that is impressive for an upcoming artist. NERIAH’s debut album Cause of Death already showed potential in her understanding of emotions, but where she truly excels here is the expression of those emotions. Through a cohesive sound and an alternation of slower and upbeat tracks, NERIAH creates a complete story of learning more about herself.
We learned more about NERIAH’s “Reason To Hate You,” which was released on August 15.
Photo by Maxine Bowen
LUNA: Congratulations on your EP. Could you talk about the title Reason to Hate You?
NERIAH: It’s funny, I actually didn't know what I wanted this project to be named until we wrote the song. And I was like, Oh my gosh, this is perfect. I think it has multiple meanings. The first one for me was, you know, there's so many times where you're with someone and they just make you hate yourself. The more you're with them, usually in a toxic relationship, they teach you all these things that maybe you start to not like about yourself because they didn’t. Once you start not liking things about yourself, you have to relearn how to love them again without this person in your life. So it kind of had a dual meaning for it. And yeah, I love that song.
LUNA: The first song is “Spring Cleaning,” and it really sets the tone for the project. How did you get inspired to write it?
NERIAH: So, so funny. I was so stressed. My friend was over, and we were like, I have to clean my closet because none of my stuff was fitting. And I was like, it's been so long, and I'm such a hoarder, so I gotta get rid of stuff. So I had, for the session, four trash bags in my car, and I was like, Oh my gosh, are they gonna think I'm crazy? Like, I just have bags of clothes. I remember I came to the session, and I was so stressed about it. First thing when I walked in explaining it, and I was like, Yep, I'm like, spring cleaning in the summer. And immediately we all looked at each other, were like, let's write about it.
As we were talking about it more as a metaphor, I was like, you know what? This is such a difficult time in my life, like I feel like I'm really resetting everything. Not only am I getting rid of clothes and a bunch of old stuff, but also people in my life that don't necessarily need to be in there, people that I don't like to be around that don't make me feel good. So it turned into this whole thing. We're talking about a specific person in my life that I had just let go of, that was for the better, and they're kind of like these clothes in the back of my closet. It was really cool seeing it come to life, [laughs] because it was such a real experience. We were just dancing and screaming in the studio and jumping around, and instantly I was like, Okay, this is going to be a special one.
LUNA: It’s so creative. And I definitely like how you’re comparing it to getting rid of unhealthy people in your life.
NERIAH: Thank you.
LUNA: “Rocket Science” is very vulnerable, and it talks about an emotion that a lot of us have been through. What is more difficult, putting it into words or sharing it with the world?
NERIAH: Definitely putting it into words. I'm never scared to share anything. I think that's for me; I love it. I think for me, especially when I'm writing, sometimes there are a lot of feelings that I don't necessarily know I'm going through, but they'll just come out. I mean, I'm always very vulnerable in my writing, but this one was very special because we are talking about childhood, and I have never really touched on that, you know, growing up and not feeling loved. I was the oldest of a bunch of siblings, and sometimes you just start comparing yourself. Growing up like that, it's something that's so engraved in your brain. I wrote it and then listening back, I was like, Oh my gosh. This is such a different one, because it sounds like it's about a relationship, and it is, but it's not about a significant other. That was really cool for me to tap into that, because I feel like I never have and it’s something that I'm definitely looking forward to exploring more.
LUNA: Yeah, I really like that. I feel it's very universal, when you listen to it, you could apply it to anyone - a family member, a friendship or relationship.
NERIAH: Exactly, and that's kind of where I was because on socials I'm so out there. I was like, you know what? [Laughs] This was about a step parent growing up that hated me, and I had so many comments. I mean, it really went viral. People commented like, “This is about my bio dad or my bio mom.” And I'm like, you know, that is kind of the worst feeling too. When it's a parent figure and you're so young, you're like, What? What's wrong with me? Why don't you love me like you're supposed to? And sometimes you're too young to realize it, but you hold that and make your own assumptions. So yeah, that was a really special one, and it was definitely a hard one for me to sing and kind of process, but I wasn't scared to share it. For me, I feel like my whole artistry and with my fans, I want to be there for everyone that feels unseen and unheard and and if there's any ways I can bring that up, especially things like that that are really hard to talk about, oh my gosh, that's posted instantly. Definitely realizing I was feeling that, it didn't come easy. That was the first time I've written about it in my whole career. Definitely something that I look forward to writing more about.
LUNA: It fits very well in the EP, especially because in your music you talk a lot about breakups, but like, the way we get into relationships and the way we love other people is very determined by the way we grew up. If we grew up thinking that someone like a parent doesn't love us like they should, then obviously that's going to influence the way we look at love.
NERIAH: Exactly! That’s something too where it’s like, yes, I write about breakups a lot, but I think that's something I haven't really touched on. I grew up like that, with hard times, going through divorces, and feeling like I wasn't loved, or feeling like I wasn't good enough. So relationships became, like, my whole life. I've been in a relationship, literally, my whole life. I've always been in a relationship, like, I've never been with someone I wasn't dating. Like, that's just such a me thing. It was because of how I grew up, it really shaped me as a person, so I'm interested not only in relationships with significant others. How to explore that relationship, whether it's with a family member or something, and really analyzing that. Like, okay, there's a reason I'm like this.
LUNA: I had a question about the visuals for “Illiterate.” It shows you holding a book that says “Anxiety and Relationships.” I was wondering, does writing songs help you with calming that anxiety or figuring out your emotions?
NERIAH: Yes. That book is actually very funny, and is a big easter egg for me. When I went through this breakup, with whom that song was about, we went on a break for like three months. This guy asked me for a break, and I waited and this whole thing, and I was being so manipulated. I wanted to be enough for this guy, who was horrible, so I actually ordered that book and I read it during our break, and I was annotating it, it was so bad. I can't even, I cringe looking back at this. But I was telling him, I read this book, I'm learning how to act right, whatever, everything he thought that was wrong. So I had to bring that back. A lot of those books I actually read during that breakup [laughs], it was kind of a little laugh at self help books. And you know I didn't need to read them, but I only did it to prove a point to him, which kind of showed even more in that relationship … What was I doing?
LUNA: I was thinking that, the fact that you represented that, shows that you are not in the wrong because you were actually thinking about it, whereas the other person is probably not thinking at all about it.
NERIAH: Exactly, and they were kind of giving me anxiety. But yeah, when I'm anxious in relationships, I definitely write about it. I think that’s one of the first red flags for me, it’s what I'm writing. It kind of just comes out. I don't want to admit that I’m maybe having issues, but I can see what I'm writing. That was a big thing with my debut album. I wrote it about the person I was with, while I was with them. One of the songs that was about him came out on his birthday, and we were still together. So that was definitely like a look into the future. I was like, Girl, I don't think you're in the right relationship. So it always happens.
Photo by Maxine Bowen
LUNA: The cover of the project is quite different from the covers of your previous releases where they’re very pink. How did you figure out that this is what you wanted it to look like?
NERIAH: We went through a lot of back and forth. This year, I was experimenting so much with music which was so fun. I'm a very bubbly person, and I'm very bright and a lot of colors all the time, but I'm definitely more on the sad side. I'm a very sad girl, and I think I was trying to tone that down for so long. I was like, People want happy music. And, you know, this project just felt so right with the images and the colors. Every song, I was like, blue, blue, blue, but with hints of orange and this golden color. I wanted to do something different and special. And thinking back, I think it really just set the tone of the entire project. I felt like it meant what the project looked like. We had such a fun photo shoot with one of my favorite photographers, and I was like, okay, this is it. Then the team really helped. They're like, This is the photo! So I definitely let them give a lot of help with that. But yeah, it felt different. It felt like a new era, for sure.
LUNA: It does feel different. I listened to your debut album and your other singles, and this does feel a lot more laid back, but from a very introspective place. You released a few singles before Reason To Hate You, like “Napoleon Complex” and “Out of Your League.” How did you decide that they wouldn't be part of this EP?
NERIAH: There were a lot of singles. When starting the first time, I thought I was going into my second album, and we started writing some songs and it just didn't feel right, so we scrapped it [laughs]. Like, you know what, let’s keep going. “Napoleon Complex” and “Out of Your League,” I think were such amazing eras, and I loved those as singles, but to me they just didn't feel like the project. Again, with the colors and the pink and all of that. It just felt like they were on their own. Which I was like, great, we can have those as singles and something for people to look back on. But I also was like my first album was 24 tracks. I need to put out a project. I haven't since my debut album. If I'm going to do an EP of seven songs, it's very NERIAH to give you six new ones. We did the biggest EP allowed before it's considered an album. So I want to just give as many songs and new stuff, because there's so much I've been working on and wanting to share. They just felt like different worlds.
LUNA: How has your music evolved since your debut album?
NERIAH: That is such a great question. I think a big part of it is definitely what I've talked about. I think about my debut album being about the same ex, and instead of making things very repetitive… As you know, I still write about a lot of the same things that I did when I started. There’s a lot more meaning in a lot of the songs. I think instead of covering it in metaphors, I will say the truth. I've definitely gotten a lot more petty with my lyrics, which has been fun. I think every project just kind of shows a new part of me.
LUNA: What is your writing process like?
NERIAH: My writing process is kind of different every time, but usually I'll start with the concept. I have a list of thousands of concepts, and I'll go into the studio and kind of read over them when I'm sitting on the couch and be like, okay, what do I feel today? And then we'll find chords, and sometimes I'll have a song already written, kind of a melody or a chorus or verse. So it really just depends on what I'm feeling. But definitely for this project and as of lately, whenever I feel inspired, I just will write a little something and then bring it into the studio when I feel ready.
LUNA: “Gone Girl” is the lead single of the EP, and it's a very fun track. How did you decide for it to be the lead single?
NERIAH: That one just felt so special when we wrote it, and it felt so fun, and it felt like there was a way that I was able to keep this upbeat song, but still kind of have that revenge sound to it, because I think that was something that was important for this project. I'm like, we're not happy, but we're not like, we're sad, but there’s also some songs where we’re pissed. There’s also some songs where we're like, it's rage, yes. I like being able to find that in a single, and the fans absolutely loved it. Playing it all over the tour, we did so many exciting things. That one just felt right.
LUNA: Is there a song that you have a stronger connection to on the EP?
NERIAH: I think “Good Enough.” That’s something I've really struggled with a lot of my life, feeling like “enough,” and taking everything personally, and trying to change to be what other people wanted me to be, especially in relationships. I'm a very insecure person at times, and I'm sometimes scared to show that side of me, as a lot of us are. I think being unheard and not feeling seen is something that so many of us often feel, and I never knew how to put it into words. My best friend and, I mean, I adore her to death … We think the same about everything. We were at the Spotify studios, and we had the title “Good Enough.” And I was like, okay, how do we feel? We got really deep, and we're like, We don't feel good enough. Like we have to change all the time for all these people. All I want to do is be enough for somebody. That one just feels very vulnerable and very honest. Then singing it live, and seeing how it connects with everyone is one of the most beautiful experiences. I hope that's something that a lot of people do take away. I mean, it has definitely seen the most love on socials. It warms my heart to see everyone being like, Wow, I feel seen for the first time, or I've never had this feeling put into words. You may see me and think, oh, everything's great and happy, but we all have real emotions. I don't feel good enough half of the time. I overthink things. I take everything personally. I'm a Pisces so, you know, I cry all the time [laughs]. It was really cool to be able to be so vulnerable and have that as a ballad. Even when I'm sad, it helps me to listen to it.
LUNA: It is such a great song, and I really liked it. When first listening to the EP, I was like, I love this switch up of I'm not the problem, we just weren't meant to be together, and then we get to “Good Enough.” And I was like, yes, because we still have those moments of insecurity. I feel it's a very vulnerable track on the EP that really stands out.
NERIAH: You have to heal when you go through those things. And for me, a lot of it has been through toxic relationships, and letting someone kind of change your path and how you are and how you operate in a relationship, and you really have to let yourself heal. In order to heal, you have to admit those things to yourself. There was a point where I felt like that. I didn't feel good enough, and I didn't feel like the people around me were making me feel loved and appreciated and proud of myself. That’s something you also have to kind of realize, and you have to surround yourself with the right people, and if people around you aren't making you feel good, whether it's in friendships, whether it's in family, get rid of them. It’s so funny, Taylor Swift literally just said it, but she was like, “You have to treat your time like it's expensive,” and you do. People do not deserve to be with you all the time, and every single time you give your energy and you let them drain it, you can't give that away again. You only have so much. So I think that's been the most important lesson. It’s really just to be around people that make you feel good, and if they don't, they're not worth it. Get rid of them. Just spring clean them and get rid of them, they don't need to be in your life anymore.
LUNA: How do you feel about touring Europe next fall?
NERIAH: I’m so excited! I love touring more than anything. It is my favorite part of this job. I love meeting fans. I love performing and oh my gosh, it's the best feeling in the world. I'm so grateful and thankful to go back. It's crazy, like little me would be freaking out that I get to go to Europe twice in the same year to play shows to thousands of people like, what? Yeah, I'm so excited. I'm gonna definitely be vlogging a lot more on this tour too. So if there's anything that anyone listening wants me to do specifically, or what you guys want to see behind the scenes, please let me know. I'm looking forward to it. I'm counting down the days.
LUNA: That's so exciting. What other plans do you have for your music?
NERIAH: Right now, definitely soaking in this EP a little bit. In the near future, very close future, I really want to take some space and some time to figure out what this sophomore album is for me and what it means, and to make you guys something you've never heard before. I have a lot of exciting things that I'm working on, and there's going to be a lot of surprises. I'm very excited once we enter this next era.
LUNA: That sounds great. Congratulations on the EP. It's so good, and I feel it will help people, either relate to some experience they've been through, or like, make them realize that they're not appreciated in a situation that they are in, in both ways. It's amazing that you get to do that with your music. Thank you for this interview.
NERIAH: Ohmy gosh, thank you. Are you kidding? Thank you so much!
